The Nugget

The AQ, on sale now for the low, low price of $1,900!

Aaron Quackenbush, Writer

Have you ever wanted a quiet, caring friend? How about one who’s sad on the inside but outwardly cheerful? Introducing The AQ, formally known as Aaron Q. This one-of-a-kind wonder could be yours, with his fast-thickening sideburns and his slow-growing body. He’s all you could ever want. Behold: his happy outlook along with his nice attitude! What else could you ever ask for? Ask now and you have a chance of becoming friends; he is very lonely, but be warned – Aaron chooses carefully. Quiet, calm, mature. Why would you ever need anyone else? Well, you might need someone to meet your emotional needs and let me tell you Aaron can be that person. With their amazing listening skills and squishy body great for hugging, you can be happy today.

Call (406)417-8244 now for a new Aaron. That's (406) 417-8244. And if you call now, you can get a second one free. Two great huggers with sideburns, the perfect duo. And with your second order, you get a free writer to help you on all your assignments--after all, this kid comes with a 149 IQ. Order now, call (406)417-8244 to make your claim.  

Side effects may include dumb friends, positive aura, and most importantly happiness  

All content by Aaron Quackenbush
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A Not So Warm Welcome

Aaron Quackenbush, Staff writer
June 4, 2024
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Aaron Quackenbush